Currently I’m Loving…(Vol. 10)

I have been following Crystal’s blog for a while, so I was ecstatic when she announced a linkup, I was so happy! I love these favorites posts too, so it was a win-win situation! My personal (i.e.: work) life is picking up, so things may be slow on my personal blog, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you readers or writing these posts any less! I hope that you will stick with my journey as we close out this year and roll through the madness that is the holiday season!

Onward with the favorites!

I Am Now A Swiftie (I’m Pretty Sure)

Yes, I have jumped on “I-love-the-new-Taylor-Swift-album” bandwagon. The song “Blank Space” didn’t stand out to me on the new album as one of my favorites, but the video makes the song. It really does. I love a woman and satire, and Taylor Swift has done it with the Blank Space video.

Who else heard “Starbucks lovers” on the first listen? I know I did.

I will admit: I am not a fan of her earlier albums. To me, it sounded like she was constantly making herself the victim of the experiences she wrote about. My first reaction was, “Grow up,” and while I sometimes feel that, I understand that so many people relate to her lyrics. And connecting with music is key to helping it sell. But to see the way she interacts with fans on social media, particularly Tumblr, she is turning me into a Swiftie. I love how sweet and truly caring she seems to be. (I mean, who gets early Christmas presents for fans or personally drives a toddler-sized Mercedes to an adorable kid rather than ship it?) Most celebrities get more and more distant as they get more and more successful. Taylor seems to do the opposite with her fans. And I’m all for a girl who can be grounded, real, and grateful, despite her success.

Jorge Luis Borges

There was once a time when I spoke Spanish better than I spoke Japanese, much to my relatives’ displeasure. I am now trying to turn back the clocks and get that ability back via Duolingo. I remember staring at a Jorge Luis Borges anthology, trying to figure out how fast and how thoroughly I would have to read as I collected yet another textbook from the professor. At the time, I didn’t appreciate him, but with quotes like the one below, he’s starting to win me over.

“A writer – and, I believe, generally all persons – must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.”

As a writer, this makes me happy beyond words. So. Much. Truth.

Growing up, my work ethic disguised the fact that I had ADD. Many people (read: friends) thought that the idea of my having ADD was an oxymoron; they were operating on the symptoms that were associated with ADHD. Since I wasn’t bouncing off the walls like Tigger, and I worked my butt off for my grades, many thought that I didn’t have it, that I was just going through “a phase.”

We know now that they were wrong. And because of that, I will always be passionate about mental health, particularly when it comes to that of young people and women. This article from Devex sums of pretty much everything that I wanted to say on the topic.

What have YOU been loving this week? Let me know in the comments!

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Currently I’m Loving…

Emma Watson’s He For She Speech

Yes, the cat’s out of the bag.   I’ve always loved and respected Emma Watson. In fact I’ve kind of not-so-secretly wanted to be best friends with her. This speech was so on point. Not because I was able to identify myself as a feminist (because according to the definition presented in her speech, I am one) but because she highlighted the struggles of men. Women are not the only ones held to a double standard. And I loved that she recognized that. I could go on and on about why I love her, but that sounds creepy, even to me.

Essential Oils

I’ve been struggling with anxiety attacks and other personal issues as of late, and essential oils have saved my life. I hardly go to the drugstore anymore. These oils have been more effective than any pill I’ve ever taken. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am very anti-medication. No, these things are not magic, but they’re a great first step in the right direction for me.

This Huffington Post piece on gratitude. I’m all for gratitude, but everyone forgets. that there are some things that we take for granted. This is a great reminder of the little things that we tend to overlook that are just as valuable.

Jessica Chastain’s interview about her new movie. I’m not one to usually peruse Yahoo, but this was a great find, particularly because I’m so adamant about my own struggles with depression. I loved so much of what she said in this interview.

What have YOU been loving this week? Let me know in the comments!

How To Help Your Loved Ones Deal With Mental Illness

Last week, I publicly thanked my friends for saving my life. Messages poured in from friends and fellow bloggers. While I loved seeing the response the post generated, the most interesting comment I got was a question from a friend. She wrote the following:

 

“What did (or didn’t) your friends say that made a difference to you when you felt that way? What advice can you give us for how to respond, or just be, with friends who are in a similar way?”

 

Depression can be a tricky subject. Not everyone wears their emotions on their sleeve, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help.

 

 

Let Them Know That You’re There For Them

 

If you’re concerned about someone, or if you just want to say a quick hi, contact them. Text them. Call them. Sometimes a simple “Hi, how are you?” will be enough to save someone’s life.

You could say that it’s petty to care about little things like a text, but for some of us, the little things matter. They are proof that people care.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve held off on reaching out for help because I was afraid of judgment. I was afraid that my girlfriends wouldn’t be able to handle what I had to say.

A month ago, I got very close to hurting myself. I told a girlfriend about it the next day and broke down in her car. She made it clear that she was willing to listen to me, and she asked me to contact her if I ever felt that bad again.

 

There are no adequate words to describe how grateful I felt.

 

If a friend is suffering from depression, make it clear that you’re willing to listen. It means the world to those of us who are in a bad place to know that we have someone who’s willing to listen to us, someone who thinks that we’re worth something.

 

Just Listen

 

If you’re anything like me, sometimes it can be difficult to restrain yourself and refrain from interjecting an opinion into someone’s conversation. But there is a time and a place for everything. And when someone’s in the middle of pouring out his or her heart…well…you know where I’m going with this.

Sometimes we don’t want to hear other people’s opinions; we just want someone to lend an ear.

 

Do NOT (under ANY Circumstances) say, “Just get over it.”

 

I hate the word “just” in any sentence, but I particularly hate it when the next three words are “get over it.” Depression (or any mental illness is not something that you can “just get over.” It is a daily battle.

I can’t speak for everyone, but whenever I have heard those 4 words, it’s only made me feel more isolated. And it’s precisely because people have felt isolated, like no one cared that they’ve turned to suicide.

 

Just don’t say it. Please. There are better ways to respond.

 

Not Everyone Responds The Same Way

 

One of the best things to keep in mind is that people will respond to your advice in different ways. Tailor your advice depending on your friend’s history and personality.

 

The best way I can explain this is to use me as an example. My friends know that I have had an unimpressive track record with my attempts at therapy. They tend to offer me practical advice, like writing in a journal, or listening to music, things they know I will actually do instead of saying, “You should go into therapy.”

 

Some people respond well to things like, “Everything happens for a reason,” or “ The best is yet to come,” but I don’t. If you can’t tell, platitudes take the number 1 spot on my 10 Things I Hate The Most list (along with olives).

 

We’ve all heard about the power of words. When you have a loved one dealing with depression or any other mental illness, they become even more important. What you say can have a lasting effect on someone. I don’t care if the thing that bothers you was said a day ago or a decade ago.

 

We all respond to love, though. Just show us that we’re loved in the best way you know how.

 

What’s the most helpful thing someone has said to YOU when you hit rock bottom?

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