How To Feel Powerful & The Hard Truth About Overcoming Negative Feelings

Re-framing Your Thinking

IMG_0208“It is doubtful that we came to feel undeserving on our own. We were helped to feel unworthy. We were taught it in a thousand ways when we were little, and we learned our lessons well.”

 

I think all of us would agree. We’ve all felt like the lowest thing on the planet at some point in our lives.

 

Not good enough. Not capable enough. Not pretty enough. Not [insert your word of choice here] enough. The list goes on and on and on.

 

In case you’re wondering, I am in the process of doing this. Every week, as per my coach’s instructions, I’ve been doing 2 things a week that make me feel more powerful and capable.

 

Here’s the kicker though: It can’t be something I would normally do. So even though lifting weights at the gym makes me feel powerful and capable, she wouldn’t count it because it’s been part of my normal routine for a month now.

 

Yes, I was groaning loudly when she said that.

 

What have I learned from this experience, you ask?

 

 

There Is No Easy Way About It

 

 

So how do you go about feeling more capable/good/pretty/fill-in-the-blank enough?

 

You do things that make you feel that way.

 

No, sorry. There is no way to beat around the bush. There just isn’t. I wish there was, but if it were easy, none of us would ever feel like a fly on the wall. It’s just like overcoming a fear: you have to do the thing that you’re scared of so that you build a new association with it.

 

Do 2 new things every week that help you build that feeling that you feel you’re lacking.

 

Want to feel more capable and powerful? Do 2 new things every week that make you feel capable and powerful.

SashaCohenquote 

 

Go Easy On Yourself

 

What makes someone feel powerful varies from person to person. Your version of powerful might be doing something small (like connecting with someone you’ve never met over social media) or it might be something big (like lifting 300 pounds over your head). Acknowledge what you’ve done, even if it seems insignificant. What’s important is that it’s significant to YOU.

 

 

The Little Things Count

 

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: acknowledging yourself for the little things is important.

 

The things I did that made me feel powerful may seem insignificant to others.

 

For example, I tagged a celebrity in a post on Instagram, and they commented on my photo (the closest I think I’ll ever come to having a fangirl moment-see if you can find it!). Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the girl with posters of celebrities plastered on their walls, losing my voice screaming at concerts. (One concert in boy-crazy Japan was enough to cure me for more than a few lifetimes.)

 

I’d say that counted as going outside of my comfort zone.

 

It made me realize that I could do little things and still realize that I could stretch myself. It proved that I am capable of taking a risk.

 

And that made me feel pretty darn powerful.

 

What do YOU do to help get over negative feelings?

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The Truth Behind The Mask

Learning To Love Yourself, Re-framing Your Thinking

 

BehindTheMask

 

 

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”

 

-E.E. Cummings

 

 

I absolutely hate it when someone tells you that everything happens for a reason. (And when someone tells you that you’ve chosen your parents, but that’s another story).

 

Yes, it’s true that the obstacles, the trauma you went through made you who you are. Yes, it’s true that those formative experiences may have made you stronger. But that doesn’t make them okay.

 

You were hurt. You have a right to be angry.

 

You have a right to be angry because we live in a modern society that’s pretty twisted.

 

We live in a world dominated by screens and unattainable “norms” of perfection where communication has reduced itself to the tapping of keys on a keyboard (or smartphone, whichever you prefer). It’s hard to be yourself amidst all that chaos.

 

Being yourself is hard. Society tells you one thing. At schools, the maze of cliques is a jungle in itself. And then there are the things you don’t see.

 

In my case, it was the tension caused by the contradictory East-West dichotomy. I conformed because it was the only way I knew how to survive. But rather than helping me survive, that conformity led to the one place I didn’t want to be.

 

I won’t go into the details here; you’ve heard me tell that story before.

 

We are all human. Words hurt. We can pretend that we’re fine when we’re really dying. We can project the image of being someone with no filter who doesn’t waste their brain or breath on something (or someone) at the edge of their peripheral vision.

 

But sometimes when the mask comes off we do care.

 

Some would say that the role play, the constant switching from role to role depending on who you’re with isn’t authentic.

 

My response is to read between the lines, because you may only know one side of a particular person.

 

Becoming yourself (and staying yourself) amid all those voices saying no, do this, do that is confusing. It’s painful. And it’s easier to conform than it is to stick out. Because going against the flow takes a lot of strength.

 

So the next time you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, remember that you aren’t alone. Everyone has issues, even the people you consider “flawless.”

 

We’re all just trying to be ourselves in a big, confusing world.

 

And that’s hard enough.

 

Image Credit: Pinterest